10 ways to dial down stress

A must-do for any full-time caregiver is taking regularly scheduled time off.  It might be a couple of hours a week to sit in the coffee shop and read magazines while your mom does crafts the senior center. Or maybe it's a week-long, rejuvenating vacation once a year. It's necessary.

“Some people say, 'No I can’t leave my mom, she’ll get so upset,'” says Molly Fogel, LCSW, director of educational and social services for the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America. “But you have to allow yourself time off, and understand that she will be just fine.”

If you don’t have a relative, friend, or hired aide to step in while you’re gone, explore respite care options or check in with your Area Agency on Aging to learn about programs you could take advantage of.

Getting your worries, fears, hopes and blessings out of your head and onto paper  not only helps to relieve stress, but it can help you see your situation more clearly. And it can also help you come up with creative solutions.

Caregivers are usually juggling several tasks and worries at once, says Goyer. Focusing on the moment at hand—choosing the best-smelling fruit at the market, for example, without thinking about that neurologist appointment the next day—not only makes you more efficient, but it has been shown to lower stress levels.

If you can fit it into your schedule, sign up for a weekly Zumba, boxing or spinning class. Go for regular walks, bike rides or runs. Find an online yoga class you can do in your basement while your loved one is taking a nap.

A recent study showed that not only does regular exercise reduce stress in caregivers, but it may actually slow the aging process. Win-win!

Whether you stop by the flower shop each Friday to buy a fresh bouquet, or go caroling with neighbors every winter, it’s important to keep in place traditions that are special and uplifting to you. That's true even if the person in your care can’t participate, says Iris Waichler, LCSW, a patient advocate and licensed clinical social worker for 40 years. “You need to keep those important traditions in place, guilt-free,” she says.

Caregiving can feel lonely. But there are some 44 million people across the country in the same situation as you. And thanks to technology, it’s easier than ever to find them.

By attending a weekly support group in person, or joining Facebook group or virtual support group, you can find caregiving comrades who will laugh at your jokes, cry with you over disappointments and give you the perfect tip for getting your mom to wash her hair without complaining.

“You many always feel that there is more you should be doing, and you may think about things you should have done in the past,” says Goyer.

But by acknowledging that you are doing the best you can in the moment and you can’t change the past, you can relieve yourself of the stress of unrealistic expectations, she says.

While a journal is meant to be read by no one but you, a blog helps you share your journey with other people who may be in the very same boat. Who knows, your voice may resonate on with a readership of thousands of people in similar situations.

But even if your only readers are your sister and your best friend from high school, it can create a positive outlet for your sometimes conflicted feelings.

Numerous studies have confirmed the soothing properties of lavender. By rubbing on a lavender-scented hand lotion, or plugging in a diffuser with scented oils, you can dial down stress levels for both you and your loved one.

Music has been known for thousands of years to soothe weary souls. And more recent research finds that it helps improve mood, regulate emotion and relieve stress for patients with dementia—which, in turn, makes life less stressful for caregivers.

So crank up the tunes, and perhaps even get up and dance to get double the benefit!